This Blog Has Moved On

Ah, due to an unexpected inheritance, I am now able to afford to host a blog…bye bye freebie hello PUBLIC ART REVIEW…It is the same sarcastic, backstabbing, cynical site as this one, just a new platform…see you on the other side. Or for all you hardcore, statue loving loons try my official website Public Art Around The World .

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One Hell of A Nugget

You know it was unavoidable, I have to mention the $2.8 million gold statue of Kate Moss “Siren” soon to be unveiled at the British Museum exhibition. Now, I nearly choked on my Cheerio’s when I heard the news.What was the sculptor,Marc Quinn, thinking ? Well it goes something like this….“she was the closest model to human perfection he could find”. Give me a break. Now the only things that spring into mind when I think Kate Moss is Pete Doherty, Cocaine, Burberry, anorexia, cocaine and Pete Doherty. Now it’s not her fault it’s just that people who don’t follow supermodels tend to only hear the gossip (and the British tabloids and the paparazzi have had a field day). The sculpture is rumored to be the largest gold statue to be created since the era of Ancient Egypt. Holy Cleopatra say it ain’t so! I wonder if she will get upset that the sculpture weighs 50kg?And does anyone know where the artist got all that gold from?

£50 and an Apology

It seems the thieves who stole a Haslingden sculpture created by children from a special school have been struck down by guilt. Yes, not only did they return the 7ft called the “Workers” but they included in their apology note (ah huh they wrote one) £50 . The note read : “We’re sorry. We didn’t know the children made this and we are very sorry for stealing drunken. I hope the attached £50 will cover the cost to re-weld him on. Don’t worry we’ve looked after him.” See, sometimes there are nice thieves!

Ain’t No Bull Frog

A frog nailed to a cross with a beer mug and an egg in it’s hands has caused quite a commotion in the mountains of Northern Italy. The sculpture is by German artist Martin Kippenberge and the locals are none too happy. The reason it seems is it is too close to the Pope’s summer holiday house. Local Catholics have deemed the little amphibian a “public obscenity” and want it taken out of the Bolzano Museum of Modern Art. Does this mean Pope Benedict is intending to visit the museum? Bless. The problem has grown to aquatic proportions as Bishop of Bolzano and Bressanone,revealed that he had discussed the sculpture with the Pope.Hmm too much time on his hands! Could it get any better ? You bet. The Union for South Tyrol, a separatist group, collected 10,000 signatures for a petition demanding the removal of the crucified froggy and Franz Pahl, the president of Trentino-Alto Adige regional council, has gone on hunger strike in protest over the exhibit. If people only had this type of passion over war and famine!
Oh and if you think it’s the first time the Bolzano Museum has been in trouble, think again. About two years ago the Bolzano museum hit the headlines by displaying a work of art consisting of a toilet flushing to the accompaniment of Italy’s national anthem.

Terracotta Warriors Have Tinea

Say it aint so ! It seems Emperor Qin Shi Huang’s 2,200 year old terracotta warriors have foot fungi. Good god! Since being unearthed in 1974 and exposed to heat and humidity, tiny spores of tinea pedis have had a field day attacking the clay statues. Yep,it seems good old fungi excrete acid just loves ancient Chinese clay men (who knew?).Scientists examining the statues identified 60 different fungi growing on them, including a variation of athlete’s foot.But before you start checking between your own toes for spores, Johnson and Johnson (of baby powder fame) have found the cure. Bless. J&J invested years and big bucks researching molds on clay tiles and flowerpots before finally developing an assortment of successful fungicides. So, next time you are at Terracotta Warrior exhibition and are tempted to touch one just think ‘tinea pedis’!

I Come From A Land Down Under

What is a Brisbane council to do when a vandal goes and paints a vagina on a statue PINK? Remove it quick. But the poor old council are under attack for being prudish. Prior to the statue receiving a paint job, the council was already praying the controversial statue (which depicts a naked woman lying in a fetal position with her genitals exposed) would just disappear. Antone Bruinsma’s Birth of Venus statue, which was commissioned by the former Caboolture Shire,  was deemed “offensive to women” by the new amalgamated one. So I guess they were rather pleased that someone went and dolloped the privates in bright pink. It wouldn’t be a council member now would it ?
Evidently attempts to clean the paint off failed. Pity the fool that got that job! So the council made an executive decision to remove the sculpture completely from the park, as they believe it will be a sitting duck for future acts of vandalism. Hmm the artist’s respond to the council throwing naked pink lady into storage “I feel it’s insulting to women to remove a vulva because of somebody’s attitude.” Bless

Missing a Picasso ?

When WIlliam M.V. Kingsland died in 2006, he left behind over 300 works of art squeezed into his one bedroom apartment in New York. So what is so wacky about this story is that many of the pieces have subsequently been found to be stolen. Good god, the man was an art thief, hobnobbing with Manhattan’s upper crust. Hmm and guess what? Yep, Kingsland wasn’t his real name either, he once went by the name Melvyn Kohn. All came to light when New York Public Administrator, Ethel Griffin, hired two auction houses to sell the art. Imagine their surprise when they discovered many pieces were reported stolen in the 1960’s and 70’s.  Included in the collection are sketches by Picasso (which a mover tried to steal during in the discovery).  Now it is the FBI handling the case and they have posted a page of goodies believed to be stolen. They are hoping the public will be able to assist in identifying the paintings. Click here if you want to have a sticky beak… FBI art theft… By the way no pieces of Public Art were found in the apartment!

Damn That Carbon Dating!

The famous Roman statue of the twins, Romulus and Remus, sucking from the she-wolf (Lupa Capitolina) has been carbon dated and guess what? It ain’t that old. Well, it is old, but just not as old as everyone was led to believe. It seems the experts just assumed that the bronze was made by the Etruscan’s in the 5th century BC. Gee, they even had proof,Cicero, a Roman statesman of that period described the statue as having a damaged paw after being struck by lightning. It would take until 2006 before someone called Cicero’s bluff. Anna Maria Carruba, an Italian art expert, was adamant that is was a ruse. She argued that the statue had been cast using a wax mould, something those Etruscan’s knew nothing about. To make matters worse she suggested that the paw was actually a casting mistake (ouch!).  Well, thanks to carbon dating they now believe Lupa Capitolina was manufactured in the 13th century, about 800 years ago, in the Romanesque Period. So what does this mean , will it retain its importance in Roman art? I am thinking not. Whew, lucky Dan Brown didn’t use Lupa Capitolina in the Da Vinci Code (that would have been embarrassing!).

Dear God, What Next ?

I’ve heard it all now, an art gallery at the Baltic Centre for Contemporary Art in Gateshead is being taken to court because one of their exhibitions displayed a statue of Jesus with an erection. Holy indecency. The main argument in the prosecution is “had the statue been of Mohammad rather than Christ, there would have been a far greater outcry”. I am thinking Yes ( ain’t that right Salman ?). The culprit is controversial artist, Terence Koh, who also included Mickey Mouse and ET with erections in the exhibition (but they escaped the wrath). Hmm the maximum fine for outraging public decency is six months prison and a £5,000 fine. Gee, if that is the case imagine how many sculptors we could get off the streets!

Dish Washing Liquid? I Think You Are Soaking in it!

The Diver in dish washing gloves ?

The Diver in dish washing gloves ?

The Diver and Guard Dogs sculpture can be found in a small street in East Perth’s Claisebrook Cove. Two things which struck me like a sledgehammer were firstly, the plaque and secondly the dish washing gloves. I am sorry, but had I not been informed, via the plaque, that The Diver and the Guard Dogs was a spoof on Nelson’s Column, I would have been left soaking in my own ignorance. Why hadn’t I figured that one out, it seems so obvious now I know ! Dear god I sometimes wonder. Secondly are they dish washing gloves on the diver ? Please, I pray this isn’t phallic symbolism. For more of an in depth low down click here The Diver and the Guard Dogs.

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